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Crap
 Yeah, we used to share a place together, remember? You'd jump in the air and shout, and I'd make scratching noises and hide under the wardrobe. Good times. Well I thought I'd drop by and say hi and see how you were doing. Nice new place you have here, mind if I run across the floor in plain sight a couple o' times just to freak you out? Then I think I'll scamper around behind your desk for a bit and you can try to figure out if you'd be able to trap me under a pint glass. It'll be just like old times.
Oh no, don't put all the junk on your floor onto the bed on my account, I'm quite happy to lurk here underneath your computer just watching you for a bit. Hi! Ok, I've got to go and disappear behind the wardrobe again now, so you can wonder if I've gone away for good or if I'm just waiting for the right moment to come back. See you later!
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To date 48 Comment(s)
TrackBack-URL
(14.12.05 11:04)
Probably you'd find that he's strong enough to move a pint glass. You'll have to get one of those giant novelty glasses.
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(14.12.05 11:04)
Would one that said 'world's greatest drinker' be more or less likely to hold it?
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(14.12.05 11:05)
It could be a different mouse. Isn't it a bit paranoid to think the other one followed you?
Also, just think, maybe the mice think you are their God. They like you.
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(14.12.05 11:06)
I wish all the animals didn't love me so much. I may have to become a wrathful god. Or atleast a slightly miffed one.
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(14.12.05 11:09)
me: oh chaunce, mice aren't scary, listen we even had mice at cathles -
chaunce: where I used to sleep on the floor?!
me: uh, yeah...
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(14.12.05 11:18)
May be the mouse likes admiring you when you work? For all you know, it may have been sitting on the corner of your bed watching you sleep?
Em, that IS HILARIOUS! Though it's not like I am not sympathising with Chaunce. But that's funny!
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(14.12.05 11:19)
Oo that should scare off any lady friends... Get a cat!
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(14.12.05 11:24)
I tried to point out that they were only ever in one cupboard in the kitchen (that opened onto the garden) and he was always drunk anyway, but I don't know if he was reassured.
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(14.12.05 11:32)
Man, you must be on some good shit - most times when I'm off my tits the mice can only talk, but yours can type too.
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(14.12.05 11:34)
This is probably the first recorded case of a mouse stalker.
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(14.12.05 11:34)
OJ - many people and animals would like to admire me while I work, but I reserve the right to chose which ones are allowed to. It is strictly invitation only.
queener - perhaps the lady friends could help me catch it?
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(14.12.05 11:37)
Em, I bet if you had told him bout the mouse he would have sobered right up. Awww....poor him!
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(14.12.05 11:54)
You might want to ask any lady friend if she likes meece, then. I suspect that she won't... unless she's a cat. or a falcon or something.
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(14.12.05 12:19)
Ah. Then that should help her to woo it. or go to it to woo.
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(14.12.05 12:20)
and so the dance continues.
there he sits, beneath youir desk, watching you as you slumber. Quietly stroking his whiskers, comtemplating his next move...
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(14.12.05 12:22)
pru - perhaps I should get a snake and let it prowl my room at night?
queener - how long have you been waiting to say that?
nut - twirling it's whiskers like a waxed moustache? Fiendish.
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(14.12.05 12:27)
I don't know what you're talking 'bout, Boon. I'm just making observations based upon my keen knowledge of barn owls.
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(14.12.05 12:32)
have you been seduced by a barn owl then? I imagine he bought you a meal and a bottle of fine wine, and before you knew it you were waking up the next morning in his nest.
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(14.12.05 12:34)
Dirty boy imagining those things. Go and wash your mouth out.
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(14.12.05 12:40)
are you suggesting I'm an owl now? You think I'm hiding wings under these tops?
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(14.12.05 12:41)
Well I did see you rotate your head 360 degrees the other day.
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(14.12.05 12:42)
That would make me Super-Owl then. Anyway, stop courting me, you already have one owl on your hands.
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(14.12.05 12:56)
I never realised that calling someone an owl was concidered courtship. I will remember that for future use.
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(14.12.05 13:05)
I must clarify here that I am not an owl, not even partly so. Also I do not like mice and therefore will not be participating in any mice-hunting activities.
Thanks.
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(14.12.05 13:09)
So now we come full-circle.
BBN - whatchoogonnado about the mouse? Are you going to catch it and roast it over a candle?
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(14.12.05 13:11)
I suggest you get one of these little fellows:
The red bellied black snake!
"It is found near streams and lagoons of eastern Australia. It hunts by day, feeding on frogs, small mammals and other reptiles. Its venom is dangerous to man."
But not deadly, from memory, and if it has a poisonous bite then it won't suffocate you in your sleep. do you know how to do a pressure bandage?
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(14.12.05 13:13)
He'll have to supplement it with cous cous - it won't feed two otherwise.
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(14.12.05 13:27)
OJ - it's ok, you can just lift things up, I will do the actual mouse catching.
pru - I guess I can learn the hard way. Please post me one in a jiffy bag.
queener - perhaps I could put it in a nice mouseakka?
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(14.12.05 13:30)
My tip: get a rug, the mouse (or in my case baby rat) will hide under it, and you, without realising, will step on it and kill it. Ta ta - job done. A mouseakka would then be GREAT. No my cats didn't help, apart from bringing it in in the first place.
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(14.12.05 13:32)
Just watch Crocodile Hunter, I'm sure he covers it somewhere.
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(14.12.05 14:00)
e_b: I don't think I can multitask shrieking AND lifting things. Besides the mouseakka doesn't sound very appealing. Perhaps the dinner should be postponed until after the mouse has been caught, roasted and eaten?
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(14.12.05 14:54)
You do know that the dish I keep cooking you is actually vole-gnese, right?
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(14.12.05 20:06)
A friend recently told me that when you catch a mouse you should burn it to deter the others. Quite how this is supposed to work I'm not sure. I mean, do mice recognise the smell of burning mouse flesh and fur and run in fear? I doubt it and so we ridiculed said friend for sometime.
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Snag
(15.12.05 11:22)
The bad news: it's never just a mouse, it's always mice. They live in nests, you know. My advice: put poison down (in more than one place).
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(15.12.05 11:49)
Barney - perhaps I am supposed to burn it somewhere in plain sight so all the other mice can see and hear it's mousey screams.
snag - no no no. It was a scout that saw that there was no food in my room and now he has gone back to the nest (that is far far away from my flat) and told them there is no food and there is no point in coming back EVER.
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(15.12.05 12:25)
mmmmMMMmmm...volegnese....full of ratty goodness!
You shoudl get a snake. Of course, which is worse? Waxy the Mouse staring at you all night, perhaps even with a vague longing in his beady eyes....or waking to a slight tickle on your nose. A tickle casued by the quickly flickering forked tongue of the snake lying on your belly, enjoing the warmth and the rhythmic up and down of your chest cavity. Hm.
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(15.12.05 12:32)
Eeeek! I had a comment till I saw the black red-bellied snake - a pretty calm breed. We had one in the bio lab and I used to feed it with thawed pink baby mouse bodies (awwwww).
.
So all you need now is to get one and the mouse problem will be sorted.
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(16.12.05 10:07)
My god, that's one fat mouse. Yeeeuch. (Has he been eating your biscuits?)
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(16.12.05 11:34)
If he has then he can forget about the 'humane traps'.
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